Do you ever wake up in the morning and think to yourself today is going to be a GREAT day? I would like to say I take that approach daily, but let’s be honest…I don’t.
This morning I met with the psychologist and resource teacher at my oldest daughter’s school. I knew the premise of the meeting was to discuss her talking about her birth mom, but then I showed up and got the rest of the story.
Let me back up for a moment…I adopted my oldest daughter when she was 2 years old. She lived with my mom as an infant and came to my house directly from there. She never met her birth mom and we don’t know who her birth father is. My youngest sister is also adopted and recently met a birth sister and brother. This all happened the same weekend we went to San Francisco, where my daughter was born and my sister was meeting her birth family for the first time. This is the same weekend my daughter started asking me the questions I knew would come eventually.
This brings us to the meeting today. Within the last 2 weeks my daughter was asked to write a sentence using words from the board at school. Her word was “sad”. She wrote she was “sad when one mom gave her away to another mom”. This breaks my heart. It was all in context for me but the day those questions and comments start being said my reality breaks into the heartache I feel for my daughter.
I see her hurt when I explain to her that her birth mom couldn’t take care of her because she couldn’t even take care of herself. The tears that rolled down her face as we had this conversation and my heart broke with my daughter. No one says being a parent is going to be easy, and this has been one of those months when life takes us by the strings and whips us around to see where we will land.
I will continue to love my daughter unconditionally and answer any and all questions that I can, while reassuring her that her father and I love her and we chose her to be our daughter.