Finding Myself at a Loss for Words

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My heart is filled with such heaviness today. It was just a month ago I learned of a childhood friend passing away from a heart attack. Today it was my college roommate, Karyn. Her heart could no longer keep up with her.

About 8 years ago Karyn learned she had congestive heart failure while she was pregnant with her second son, Micah. She had a emergency delivery and was put on the transplant list. I remember seeing her when Micah was still a baby, thinking I may never see her again.

But she made it. She got a new heart in record time and she was doing great. She had her ups and downs and just recently married Jack, the man of her dreams. She lost her battle, although she never gave up the fight. She was determined.

The sadness I feel is overwhelming me at times this morning and I am finding it difficult to be at work today. Karyn was the one roommate I would have continued rooming with, had she not left.

I was a difficult roommate, having 4 different roommates in 8 semesters and 4 of those semesters I had my own room. You do the math. Karyn was kind and loving and gave of herself in many, many ways.

I cannot fathom the loss her family is feeling today because I am sure I feel only a fraction of their pain. Life is put in perspective once again, but also, sadness fills me. It’s more than the wow-factor of losing someone my age, as in last month’s loss, but it’s the loss of someone I loved. I may not have seen her recently but we kept in touch…she was my roomie, as she affectionately called me whenever we talked, emailed or posted on each other’s Facebook wall.

I love you Karyn! Rest in God’s arm, fully restored.

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